Study Shows Meditation May Activate the Brain to Learn Empathy
By Jennifer Warner
WebMD Medical News Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
March 26, 2008 -- Practice may make perfect when it comes to kindness and compassion.
A new study shows practicing kindness and compassion through regular meditation actually activates the brain and makes people more empathetic to others.
It's the first study to use functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to analyze the effects of compassion meditation on brain activity. The results suggest that people can train themselves to be more compassionate just as they'd train themselves to play a musical instrument.
Researchers say the study also suggests that practicing compassion meditation may also be a useful tool in preventing bullying, violence, aggression, and depression by altering brain activity to make people more empathetic to other peoples' emotions.
"We can take advantage of our brain's plasticity and train it to enhance these qualities," says researcher Antione Lutz, associate scientist at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, in a news release. "Thinking about other people's suffering and not just your own helps to put everything in perspective."
(Are you a compassionate person? How do you feel it affects your life? Talk with others on WebMD's Stress Management: Melanie Eller, RN, MSN, message board.)
Teaching the Brain Empathy
Participating in the study were 16 Tibetan monks experienced in meditation and a comparison group of 16 people with no prior experience in meditation. People in the comparison group were taught the fundamentals of compassion meditation two weeks prior to the study.
During the study, researchers used fMRI to measure the response of the participants' brains to a variety of neutral or negative sounds, such as a distressed woman, a baby laughing, or background restaurant noise.
During the session, researchers took separate scans of the brain when the participants heard the sounds during a meditative and neutral state.
The scans showed significant increases in activity in the portion of the brain known as the insula, which plays a key role in emotion, in experienced meditators when they were exposed to negative emotional sounds. There was less increase in activity during exposure to neutral or positive sounds. The strength of brain activity was also related to the intensity of the meditation reported by the participants.
"The insula is extremely important in detecting emotions in general and specifically in mapping bodily responses to emotion -- such as heart rate and blood pressure -- and making that information available to other parts of the brain," says researcher Richard Davidson, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, in the news release.
Brain activity also increased in other brain areas believed to be important in processing empathy, such as perceiving the mental and emotional state of others.
"Both of these areas have been linked to emotion sharing and empathy," Davidson says. "The combination of these two effects, which was much more noticeable in the expert meditators as opposed to the novices, was very powerful."
Sourced by TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20080326/brain-learns-compassion-via-meditation?ecd=wnl_emw_040208
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You
We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
*Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
*Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
*Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
*Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Problem Solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Better Communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.
What About Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Relaxation
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
*Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
*Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
*Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
*Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Cognitive Restructuring
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Problem Solving
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Better Communication
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.
What About Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Coping with School Stress
These 5 tips can help kids cope with school stress and homework pressure -- and ease school anxiety for kids of all ages.
By Katherine Kam
WebMD
FeatureReviewed by John M Goldenring, JD, MPH, MD
When it comes to school stress, Hannah O’Brien has seen some extremes.
The 17-year-old junior at Acalanes High School in Lafayette, California, has witnessed students crying in class after getting low test scores, she says, while others have gone without sleep a few nights in a row to keep up with homework.
“I personally have seen so many of my closest friends absolutely break -- emotionally, physically, mentally -- under stress, and I knew a lot of it was coming from school work,” she says.
School stress is serious business. A 2007 American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report suggests that for children and teens, too much work and too little play could backfire down the road. “Colleges are seeing a generation of students who appear to be manifesting increased signs of depression, anxiety, perfectionism and stress,” the report says.
Young Kids Feel School Stress, Too
A great deal of the pressure and anxiety about school stems from the college admissions race, O’Brien says.
“Students are being really pushed to make great academic gains, with No Child Left Behind,” says Jim Bierma, a middle-school counselor in St. Paul, Minnesota. “A lot of students are stressed out about college already – in junior high.”
But younger kids feel pressured, too. Even among her elementary students in Harrisburg, Arkansas, school counselor Joy Holt sees academic stress. Young kids are terrified of failing the standardized tests now emphasized heavily during the school year, she says.
“Even the little ones, they know how important [testing] is, and they don’t want to fail,” Holt says. “They cry. They get sick. Students have actually thrown up on their test booklets.”
Of course, not all students find the classroom such a crucible. But in today’s landscape of high-stakes testing and frenzied college admissions, experts worry that school stress takes a toll on too many.
Here’s what parents can do to help ease the burden.
1. Watch for signs of school-related stress.
With teens, parents should watch for stress-related behaviors, like purposely cutting themselves, or expressions of despair or hopelessness, however casual the comments may sound. “Those are off-hand remarks that you need to take seriously,” Pope says.
Younger kids may have more subtle signs of school stress, like headaches, stomachaches or reluctance to go to school, she adds.
2. Teach kids time-management skills.
With today’s heavy homework loads, time-management and organizationalskills are crucial weapons against stress, experts say.
Teach kids to budget their time wisely with homework. “Try to do something every night instead of cramming at the last moment,” says Delores Curry, a California high school counselor and secondary level vice president of the American School Counselor Association.
Stress-Relieving Homework Tips
*Teach your kids to use a planner to keep track of assignments, says middle-school counselor Bierma. When they finish each assignment, kids can check them off for a feeling of accomplishment.
*If kids struggle with tracking their homework, help them by following along with homework if their school posts assignments online.
*Give your child a quiet place to study, free of distractions, away from TV and video games.
*If possible, have kids study earlier rather than later in the day. “The later it is for most students, the shorter their attention span,” Bierma says.
*Ask the school about resources if your child is struggling academically, Bierma says. Many schools now have homework clubs, math clubs, and tutoring programs after school.
3. Consider whether your child is over-scheduled.
Over-scheduling is a big source of school stress, experts say. Many high-school students enroll in more Honors or Advanced Placement courses than they can handle, and then pile extracurricular activities on top, says Denise Clark Pope, PhD, a lecturer at the Stanford University School of Education in Stanford, California, and author of Doing School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed-Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students.
If parents filled their kids’ schedules with more sleep, down time, and family time, Pope says, “We would not be in the situation we are today. It would be that dramatic of a change.”
As a fellow student, O’Brien agrees: “Kids are so consistently worried about keeping up with ‘what’s next’ and ‘what’s next,’ that it’s hard to sit down and say, ‘Wow, I’m stressed out. Let’s find out why.’”
Elementary students can be over-scheduled, too, Holt says. “There are so many things to do now. It’s not like you just go outside and play. Now there are clubs, sports, ballet, gym – plus you’re trying to get homework in there,” she says. “As a society, we’re just in a whirlwind. We’ve forgotten: We are dealing with children.”
Some children thrive under a “driven schedule,” the AAP report says. “However, for some children this hurried lifestyle is a source of stress and anxiety and may even contribute to depression.”
The challenge is to strike a balance between work and play. If your child feels overly stressed and overwhelmed, look for ways to cut back on school work and extra activities – though that's not easy for overachievers to hear.
"Kids just have this idea that they need to be Superman,” O’Brien says.
4. Encourage sleep, exercise – and family mealtimes
Worried about the physical and emotional costs of academic stress, Pope founded the Stanford-based “Stressed-Out Students” (SOS) program. SOS partners with middle schools and high schools to survey kids' stress levels and find ways to reduce stress in school.
“There has been a serious problem with sleep deprivation,” Pope says. “It’s not unusual for 30% or 40% of [the students] to get 6 hours or less. Almost none are getting the required hours that an adolescent needs – which is 9 ½ hours.” Adequate sleep alone would make a big difference in teens’ stress levels, she says.
Holt advises exercise to help cope with stress. “If all you have is academics," she says," [stress] is going to build up, and it’s got to go somewhere. It’s going to help if kids are being physically active.”
Both Holt and Pope agree: Family time is also crucial for cushioning stress. Pope suggests mealtimes as a way to connect with your child – “a minimum of 20 minutes sitting down together at least 4 to 5 times a week,” she says. “Listen to your children, and communicate with them.”
5. Watch the parental pressure.
Some parents may not realize they're making school stress worse by pressuring their kids to excel. But parents who want to ease kids' stress must shift their perspective, says Pope.
“Really think about how you’re defining success in your family,” she says. “If the first question out of your mouth is, ‘How did you do on the history test today?’ then you’re sending a message that you value grades more than anything else.” (And worse: It could prompt academic cheating.)
Instead, Pope suggests asking: “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?" "Did you learn anything exciting or new?" At first, the conversations may be awkward. “It’s going to take some practice,” Pope says. “But just asking the questions in that way is starting to send the right message.”
It’s not easy for some parents to let up. As the AAP report says: “Even parents who wish to take a lower-key approach to child-rearing fear slowing down when they perceive everyone else is on the fast track.” Try to keep in mind that a few, low test grades won't torpedo your child's lifelong plans.
6. Keep the fun in childhood and teen years.
Kids often have too little unstructured time to relax and play, experts say – from a leisurely bike ride with friends to a Saturday hanging out at the beach.
“I hate to say it, but school is almost their job,” Holt says of her elementary students. “And you know how stressful jobs can be. If you don’t go and have fun and forget about it for a little while, you’re just going to take it with you the next day. And are you going to perform as well?”
“Remember to have fun in your high school career,” Hughes says, “because I see a lot of kids letting the stress consume them.”
Sourced byt: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/coping-school-stress
By Katherine Kam
WebMD
FeatureReviewed by John M Goldenring, JD, MPH, MD
When it comes to school stress, Hannah O’Brien has seen some extremes.
The 17-year-old junior at Acalanes High School in Lafayette, California, has witnessed students crying in class after getting low test scores, she says, while others have gone without sleep a few nights in a row to keep up with homework.
“I personally have seen so many of my closest friends absolutely break -- emotionally, physically, mentally -- under stress, and I knew a lot of it was coming from school work,” she says.
School stress is serious business. A 2007 American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report suggests that for children and teens, too much work and too little play could backfire down the road. “Colleges are seeing a generation of students who appear to be manifesting increased signs of depression, anxiety, perfectionism and stress,” the report says.
Young Kids Feel School Stress, Too
A great deal of the pressure and anxiety about school stems from the college admissions race, O’Brien says.
“Students are being really pushed to make great academic gains, with No Child Left Behind,” says Jim Bierma, a middle-school counselor in St. Paul, Minnesota. “A lot of students are stressed out about college already – in junior high.”
But younger kids feel pressured, too. Even among her elementary students in Harrisburg, Arkansas, school counselor Joy Holt sees academic stress. Young kids are terrified of failing the standardized tests now emphasized heavily during the school year, she says.
“Even the little ones, they know how important [testing] is, and they don’t want to fail,” Holt says. “They cry. They get sick. Students have actually thrown up on their test booklets.”
Of course, not all students find the classroom such a crucible. But in today’s landscape of high-stakes testing and frenzied college admissions, experts worry that school stress takes a toll on too many.
Here’s what parents can do to help ease the burden.
1. Watch for signs of school-related stress.
With teens, parents should watch for stress-related behaviors, like purposely cutting themselves, or expressions of despair or hopelessness, however casual the comments may sound. “Those are off-hand remarks that you need to take seriously,” Pope says.
Younger kids may have more subtle signs of school stress, like headaches, stomachaches or reluctance to go to school, she adds.
2. Teach kids time-management skills.
With today’s heavy homework loads, time-management and organizationalskills are crucial weapons against stress, experts say.
Teach kids to budget their time wisely with homework. “Try to do something every night instead of cramming at the last moment,” says Delores Curry, a California high school counselor and secondary level vice president of the American School Counselor Association.
Stress-Relieving Homework Tips
*Teach your kids to use a planner to keep track of assignments, says middle-school counselor Bierma. When they finish each assignment, kids can check them off for a feeling of accomplishment.
*If kids struggle with tracking their homework, help them by following along with homework if their school posts assignments online.
*Give your child a quiet place to study, free of distractions, away from TV and video games.
*If possible, have kids study earlier rather than later in the day. “The later it is for most students, the shorter their attention span,” Bierma says.
*Ask the school about resources if your child is struggling academically, Bierma says. Many schools now have homework clubs, math clubs, and tutoring programs after school.
3. Consider whether your child is over-scheduled.
Over-scheduling is a big source of school stress, experts say. Many high-school students enroll in more Honors or Advanced Placement courses than they can handle, and then pile extracurricular activities on top, says Denise Clark Pope, PhD, a lecturer at the Stanford University School of Education in Stanford, California, and author of Doing School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed-Out, Materialistic, and Miseducated Students.
If parents filled their kids’ schedules with more sleep, down time, and family time, Pope says, “We would not be in the situation we are today. It would be that dramatic of a change.”
As a fellow student, O’Brien agrees: “Kids are so consistently worried about keeping up with ‘what’s next’ and ‘what’s next,’ that it’s hard to sit down and say, ‘Wow, I’m stressed out. Let’s find out why.’”
Elementary students can be over-scheduled, too, Holt says. “There are so many things to do now. It’s not like you just go outside and play. Now there are clubs, sports, ballet, gym – plus you’re trying to get homework in there,” she says. “As a society, we’re just in a whirlwind. We’ve forgotten: We are dealing with children.”
Some children thrive under a “driven schedule,” the AAP report says. “However, for some children this hurried lifestyle is a source of stress and anxiety and may even contribute to depression.”
The challenge is to strike a balance between work and play. If your child feels overly stressed and overwhelmed, look for ways to cut back on school work and extra activities – though that's not easy for overachievers to hear.
"Kids just have this idea that they need to be Superman,” O’Brien says.
4. Encourage sleep, exercise – and family mealtimes
Worried about the physical and emotional costs of academic stress, Pope founded the Stanford-based “Stressed-Out Students” (SOS) program. SOS partners with middle schools and high schools to survey kids' stress levels and find ways to reduce stress in school.
“There has been a serious problem with sleep deprivation,” Pope says. “It’s not unusual for 30% or 40% of [the students] to get 6 hours or less. Almost none are getting the required hours that an adolescent needs – which is 9 ½ hours.” Adequate sleep alone would make a big difference in teens’ stress levels, she says.
Holt advises exercise to help cope with stress. “If all you have is academics," she says," [stress] is going to build up, and it’s got to go somewhere. It’s going to help if kids are being physically active.”
Both Holt and Pope agree: Family time is also crucial for cushioning stress. Pope suggests mealtimes as a way to connect with your child – “a minimum of 20 minutes sitting down together at least 4 to 5 times a week,” she says. “Listen to your children, and communicate with them.”
5. Watch the parental pressure.
Some parents may not realize they're making school stress worse by pressuring their kids to excel. But parents who want to ease kids' stress must shift their perspective, says Pope.
“Really think about how you’re defining success in your family,” she says. “If the first question out of your mouth is, ‘How did you do on the history test today?’ then you’re sending a message that you value grades more than anything else.” (And worse: It could prompt academic cheating.)
Instead, Pope suggests asking: “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?" "Did you learn anything exciting or new?" At first, the conversations may be awkward. “It’s going to take some practice,” Pope says. “But just asking the questions in that way is starting to send the right message.”
It’s not easy for some parents to let up. As the AAP report says: “Even parents who wish to take a lower-key approach to child-rearing fear slowing down when they perceive everyone else is on the fast track.” Try to keep in mind that a few, low test grades won't torpedo your child's lifelong plans.
6. Keep the fun in childhood and teen years.
Kids often have too little unstructured time to relax and play, experts say – from a leisurely bike ride with friends to a Saturday hanging out at the beach.
“I hate to say it, but school is almost their job,” Holt says of her elementary students. “And you know how stressful jobs can be. If you don’t go and have fun and forget about it for a little while, you’re just going to take it with you the next day. And are you going to perform as well?”
“Remember to have fun in your high school career,” Hughes says, “because I see a lot of kids letting the stress consume them.”
Sourced byt: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/coping-school-stress
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Lower Your Stress, Spare Your Heart
People Who Lower or Keep Anxiety Levels Steady Up to 60% Less Likely to Have a Heart Attack or Die
By Charlene Laino
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
March 31, 2008 (Chicago) -- Here's another reason to learn relaxation techniques. Researchers have found that lowering or keeping anxiety levels in check dramatically cuts the risk of heart attack or death in people with heart disease.
In a study of more than 500 heart patients, those who reduced or kept their anxiety levels steady were about 50% to 60% less likely to have a heart attack or die compared with those who experienced an increase in anxiety levels.
The findings were presented at the American College of Cardiology's 57th Annual Scientific Session.
Stress a Risk Factor for Heart Disease
While there is "a ton of data" linking increased stress to heart disease, there have been very few studies showing that lowering stress can improve heart health, says Yinong Young-Xu, PhD, of the Lown Cardiovascular Research Foundation in Brookline, Mass.
Seeking to fill in the knowledge gap, Young-Xu and colleagues followed 516 patients with coronary artery disease. That means they had plaque buildup in their arteries, making it harder for blood to get through, depriving the heart muscle of oxygen, and placing them at increased risk for heart attack and death.
At the start of the study, patients were given a questionnaire to determine their anxiety levels. The questionnaire was repeated annually.
Young-Xu tells WebMD that the questionnaire includes about 24 yes/no questions relating to anxiety, such as "Do you feel nervous about your heart disease?" and "Do you have trouble falling asleep?"
Over a 3 1/2 year period, 44 of the participants had a heart attack and 19 died.
Results showed that people whose anxiety levels dropped over the course of the study were 61% less likely to die or have a heart attack than those with an increase in anxiety. People whose anxiety levels remained stable were 51% less likely to die or have a heart attack compared with those with increased anxiety.
"These are remarkable risk reductions," Young-Xu says.
Suggested Anxiety Antidotes
According to the researchers, nearly one-third of heart patients suffer anxiety disorders during their lifetimes.
Young-Xu says the next step is to look at how heart patients lower anxiety. "Is it medication, psychological treatment, better doctor-patient relationships, exercise, or relaxation techniques?" he says.
Also, he wants to follow patients who are treated for anxiety to see if they do better than their untreated counterparts.
For now, he says, "pay attention to your emotional as well as your physical well-being. If you suffer from anxiety, seek treatment. It can prolong and improve your life."
Janet Wright, MD, senior vice president for science and quality at the ACC and moderator of a news conference to discuss the findings, says that too many people dismiss anxiety as a "normal" part of modern life.
"Take it seriously and treat it seriously," she advises. Among her recommended anxiety antidotes: relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation.
"Even a phone call to a friend can reduce anxiety," Wright says.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/news/20080331/lower-your-stress-spare-your-heart?ecd=wnl_emw_040208
By Charlene Laino
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
March 31, 2008 (Chicago) -- Here's another reason to learn relaxation techniques. Researchers have found that lowering or keeping anxiety levels in check dramatically cuts the risk of heart attack or death in people with heart disease.
In a study of more than 500 heart patients, those who reduced or kept their anxiety levels steady were about 50% to 60% less likely to have a heart attack or die compared with those who experienced an increase in anxiety levels.
The findings were presented at the American College of Cardiology's 57th Annual Scientific Session.
Stress a Risk Factor for Heart Disease
While there is "a ton of data" linking increased stress to heart disease, there have been very few studies showing that lowering stress can improve heart health, says Yinong Young-Xu, PhD, of the Lown Cardiovascular Research Foundation in Brookline, Mass.
Seeking to fill in the knowledge gap, Young-Xu and colleagues followed 516 patients with coronary artery disease. That means they had plaque buildup in their arteries, making it harder for blood to get through, depriving the heart muscle of oxygen, and placing them at increased risk for heart attack and death.
At the start of the study, patients were given a questionnaire to determine their anxiety levels. The questionnaire was repeated annually.
Young-Xu tells WebMD that the questionnaire includes about 24 yes/no questions relating to anxiety, such as "Do you feel nervous about your heart disease?" and "Do you have trouble falling asleep?"
Over a 3 1/2 year period, 44 of the participants had a heart attack and 19 died.
Results showed that people whose anxiety levels dropped over the course of the study were 61% less likely to die or have a heart attack than those with an increase in anxiety. People whose anxiety levels remained stable were 51% less likely to die or have a heart attack compared with those with increased anxiety.
"These are remarkable risk reductions," Young-Xu says.
Suggested Anxiety Antidotes
According to the researchers, nearly one-third of heart patients suffer anxiety disorders during their lifetimes.
Young-Xu says the next step is to look at how heart patients lower anxiety. "Is it medication, psychological treatment, better doctor-patient relationships, exercise, or relaxation techniques?" he says.
Also, he wants to follow patients who are treated for anxiety to see if they do better than their untreated counterparts.
For now, he says, "pay attention to your emotional as well as your physical well-being. If you suffer from anxiety, seek treatment. It can prolong and improve your life."
Janet Wright, MD, senior vice president for science and quality at the ACC and moderator of a news conference to discuss the findings, says that too many people dismiss anxiety as a "normal" part of modern life.
"Take it seriously and treat it seriously," she advises. Among her recommended anxiety antidotes: relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation.
"Even a phone call to a friend can reduce anxiety," Wright says.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/news/20080331/lower-your-stress-spare-your-heart?ecd=wnl_emw_040208
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Don't Be a Doormat!
WebMD Commentary from Oprah.com
Life coach Martha Beck says that every woman in the country is socialized to act like a doormat. It doesn't have to be that way! She says that there is a way to learn to say "No," and that even the biggest doormat can change her ways. Here's her advice to cure the disease to please.
Find time for yourself.
Schedule time away from your job, your partner and your children. Use this opportunity to tune in to what you want and need. Don't feel that you're being selfish; you have a responsibility to yourself to take care of your needs.
Buy time.
The next time you're asked to do something, don't answer right away. Say, "Let me think about it" or "I have to take care of something right now. I'll call you back and let you know." This will give you time to evaluate the situation and decide if it's something you truly want to do.
Practice saying "No."
For many women, saying "No" doesn't come naturally. But practice makes perfect, so start now! In choosing your responses, remember the K.I.S.S. principle: Keep It Short and Simple. You can try it in the mirror, or even walk around the house saying it. Get used to hearing yourself say the word, and then you'll be ready to use it with other people!
Finding yourself is not about what you add to your life, it's about what you take away. Once you have created your "Absolute Yes List," the top priorities in your life, it becomes easier to identify those things that you'll need to let go. Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it's important to remember that each time you say yes to someone or something else, you say no to you and your priorities. If saying no is difficult (especially to family members), then make sure you speak to your partner for support before and after you decline a request.
As life coach Cheryl Richardson explains, your self-care is always a valid excuse to say no. Don't over-explain or defend your decision. Be graceful and honest. You might say something like: "I'm sorry, but it's just not possible for me to do that," or, "I'll have to decline but thank you anyway." As you practice saying no, it will get easier. Start now!
1. For one week, keep track of how many times you say yes to something that is not on your Absolute Yes List.
2. At the end of the week, tally up the number…surprised? Awareness is the first step to realigning your decisions and priorities.
3. Make a list of five things you'd like to say no to. Start by thinking about these questions.
Are You a Doormat?
Martha's put together a checklist for you to determine where you rank on the "doormat" scale. Do the following statements pertain to you? Answer true or false.
1.I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone.
2.I want people to sense it when I've hit my limit, without my having to say anything.
3.I go blank when asked what I want, like, or think.
4.My "to do" list includes things I don't have to do, and things I don't want to do.
5.I eat, cry, smoke, or drink when I'm angry.
6.I sometimes feel quite drained; I explode at my loved ones and then feel terrible about it.
7.I feel panicky about the thought of someone disliking or disapproving of me.
8.I feel virtuous when I override my own needs or wishes to please others.
9.I feel resentful while doing things for other people.
10.I complain about other people's needs and demands when they aren't present.
If you answered true to one of these statements, you need to work on that particular action and reaction.
If you answered true to four or more of these statements, you are definitely a "doormat." You need to work on saying "No"!
Originally published on June 13, 2002
Sorced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/dont-be-doormat?page=2
Life coach Martha Beck says that every woman in the country is socialized to act like a doormat. It doesn't have to be that way! She says that there is a way to learn to say "No," and that even the biggest doormat can change her ways. Here's her advice to cure the disease to please.
Find time for yourself.
Schedule time away from your job, your partner and your children. Use this opportunity to tune in to what you want and need. Don't feel that you're being selfish; you have a responsibility to yourself to take care of your needs.
Buy time.
The next time you're asked to do something, don't answer right away. Say, "Let me think about it" or "I have to take care of something right now. I'll call you back and let you know." This will give you time to evaluate the situation and decide if it's something you truly want to do.
Practice saying "No."
For many women, saying "No" doesn't come naturally. But practice makes perfect, so start now! In choosing your responses, remember the K.I.S.S. principle: Keep It Short and Simple. You can try it in the mirror, or even walk around the house saying it. Get used to hearing yourself say the word, and then you'll be ready to use it with other people!
Finding yourself is not about what you add to your life, it's about what you take away. Once you have created your "Absolute Yes List," the top priorities in your life, it becomes easier to identify those things that you'll need to let go. Although it may feel uncomfortable to think about saying no, it's important to remember that each time you say yes to someone or something else, you say no to you and your priorities. If saying no is difficult (especially to family members), then make sure you speak to your partner for support before and after you decline a request.
As life coach Cheryl Richardson explains, your self-care is always a valid excuse to say no. Don't over-explain or defend your decision. Be graceful and honest. You might say something like: "I'm sorry, but it's just not possible for me to do that," or, "I'll have to decline but thank you anyway." As you practice saying no, it will get easier. Start now!
1. For one week, keep track of how many times you say yes to something that is not on your Absolute Yes List.
2. At the end of the week, tally up the number…surprised? Awareness is the first step to realigning your decisions and priorities.
3. Make a list of five things you'd like to say no to. Start by thinking about these questions.
Are You a Doormat?
Martha's put together a checklist for you to determine where you rank on the "doormat" scale. Do the following statements pertain to you? Answer true or false.
1.I lie about my feelings if the truth might upset someone.
2.I want people to sense it when I've hit my limit, without my having to say anything.
3.I go blank when asked what I want, like, or think.
4.My "to do" list includes things I don't have to do, and things I don't want to do.
5.I eat, cry, smoke, or drink when I'm angry.
6.I sometimes feel quite drained; I explode at my loved ones and then feel terrible about it.
7.I feel panicky about the thought of someone disliking or disapproving of me.
8.I feel virtuous when I override my own needs or wishes to please others.
9.I feel resentful while doing things for other people.
10.I complain about other people's needs and demands when they aren't present.
If you answered true to one of these statements, you need to work on that particular action and reaction.
If you answered true to four or more of these statements, you are definitely a "doormat." You need to work on saying "No"!
Originally published on June 13, 2002
Sorced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/dont-be-doormat?page=2
Monday, April 7, 2008
Stress Relief:
Yoga, Meditation, and Other Relaxation Techniques
The body’s natural relaxation response is a powerful antidote to stress. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and yoga can help you activate this relaxation response. When practiced regularly, these activities lead to a reduction in your everyday stress levels. What’s more, they also serve a protective quality by teaching you how to stay calm and collected in the face of life’s curveballs.
The relaxation response
Whenever we encounter a stressful event, our bodies undergo a series of involuntary hormonal and biochemical changes. This automatic stress response, also called the fight-or-flight reaction, puts our bodies in alarm mode: heart rate speeds up, breath becomes shallow, muscles tense, and our digestive and immune systems temporarily shut down. The stress response is helpful in true emergency situations, but when it’s activated on a frequent basis it puts strain on both mind and body.
No one can avoid all stress, but you can counteract it by learning how to evoke the relaxation response, a state of deep rest that is the polar opposite of the stress response. The relaxation response brings your system back into balance, reducing stress hormones, slowing down your muscles and organs, and increasing blood flow to the brain.
When the relaxation response is activated:
*Your heart rate decreases
*Breathing becomes slower and deeper
*Blood pressure drops or stabilizes
*Your muscles relax
"Repeated activation of the relaxation response can reverse sustained problems in the body and mend the internal wear and tear brought on by stress."
Dr. Herbert Benson, Timeless Healing
In addition to its calming physical effects, research has shown that the relaxation response also increases energy and focus, combats illness, relieves aches and pains, heightens problem-solving abilities, and boosts motivation and productivity. Best of all, anyone can reap these benefits.
The relaxation response is not:
*laying on the couch
*sleeping
*being lazy
The relaxation response is:
*a mentally active process that leaves the body relaxed
*best done in an awake state
*trainable and becomes more profound with practice
Relaxation techniques for stress relief
Many relaxation techniques can help you achieve the relaxation response. Those whose stress-busting benefits have been widely studied include deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, visualization, yoga, and tai chi.
Learning the basics of these relaxation techniques isn’t difficult. But it takes practice to truly harness their stress-relieving power: daily practice, in fact. Most stress experts recommend setting aside at least 10 to 20 minutes a day for your relaxation practice. If you’d like to get even more stress relief, aim for 30 minutes to an hour.
Keep in mind that there is no single relaxation technique that is best. Many techniques are effective, but only when practiced regularly: so choose a relaxation technique or combination of techniques that resonates with you and fits your lifestyle.
Starting a daily stress relief practice
The best way to start and maintain a daily stress relief practice is by incorporating it into your daily routine. Schedule a set time either once or twice a day for your relaxation practice. You may find that it’s easier to stick with your practice if you do it first thing in the morning, before other tasks and responsibilities get in the way.
All you need to start a relaxation practice are:
*A quiet environment – Choose a secluded place in your home, office, garden, place of worship, or in the great outdoors where you can relax without distractions or interruptions.
*A comfortable position – Get comfortable, but avoid lying down as this may lead to you falling asleep. Sit up with your spine straight, either in a chair or on the floor. You can also try a cross-legged or lotus position.
*A point of focus – Pick a meaningful word or phrase and repeat it throughout your session. You may also to focus on an object in your surroundings to enhance your concentration, or alternately, you can close your eyes.
*A passive attitude – Don’t worry about distracting thoughts that go through your mind or about how well you’re doing. If thoughts intrude during your relaxation session, don’t fight them. Instead, gently turn your attention back to your point of focus.
You can either stick to this straightforward relaxation exercise, or branch out into other relaxation techniques. Keep in mind that traditional relaxation techniques aren’t the only effective stress reducers. Spending time in nature, talking to a friend, listening to music, curling up with a good book, writing in a journal—anything that you find calming can relieve stress.
Deep breathing for stress relief
If you’d like to explore relaxation techniques, deep breathing is a good place to start, since it is used in many relaxation practices including yoga, meditation, and visualization. Deep breathing involves not only the lungs but also the abdomen, or diaphragm.
Most of us don’t breathe from the diaphragm. Instead, we take shallow breaths from our upper chests. When we’re stressed, our breath becomes even shallower. The problem is that shallow breathing limits the amount of oxygen we take in—which makes us feel even more tense, short of breath, and anxious. Deep breathing, on the other hand, encourages full oxygen exchange throughout the chest and lungs.
Chest Breathing vs. Abdominal Breathing
When you breathe from your chest, you inhale about a teacup of oxygen. Instead, you should breathe from your abdomen. When you breathe from your abdomen, you inhale about a quart of oxygen. The more oxygen you inhale, the better.
How you breathe also affects your nervous system. Chest breathing makes your brain create shorter, more restless brain waves. Abdominal breathing makes your brain create longer, slower brain waves. These longer and slower brain waves are similar to the ones your brain makes when you are relaxed and calm. So, breathing from the abdomen helps you relax quickly.
Source: University of Pittsburgh Medical Center
With its focus on full, cleansing breaths powered by the diaphragm, deep breathing can help you get your stress levels in check. The next time you feel uptight, try taking a minute to slow down and breathe deeply:
*Sit comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
*Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
*Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
*Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.
If you have a hard time breathing from your abdomen sitting up, lie on the floor, put a small book on your stomach, and try to breathe so that the book rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale. Breathing techniques can be practiced almost anywhere and can be combined with other relaxation exercises, such as aromatherapy and music. All you really need is a few minutes and a place to stretch out.
Progressive muscle relaxation for stress relief
Progressive muscle relaxation is another effective and widely used strategy for relieving stress. It involves a two-step process in which you systematically tense and relax different muscle groups in the body.
With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you an intimate familiarity with what tension—as well as complete relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind. You can combine deep breathing with progressive muscle relaxation for an additional level of relief from stress.
Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see below:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Sequence
*Right foot
*Left foot
*Right calf
*Left calf
*Right thigh
*Left thigh
*Hips and buttocks
*Stomach
*Chest
*Back
*Right arm and hand
*Left arm and hand
*Neck and shoulders
*Face
*Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.
*Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.
*When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.
*Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
*Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
*Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
*When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
*Move slowly up through your body — legs, abdomen, back, neck, face — contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.
Meditation for stress relief
Meditation has a long history in religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism. And while it is still widely used as a spiritual practice, it is also a powerful stress reliever. Meditation focuses the mind’s energy on a word, a sound, a symbol, a comforting image, or your own breathing. The goal is to produce a deep state of relaxation and tranquility while simultaneously enhancing mental focus. There are many types of meditation—both secular and sacred—so regardless of religious affiliation or beliefs, you can harness its stress-busting benefits.
Mindfulness meditation
Meditation that cultivates mindfulness is particularly effective at reducing stress, as well as anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions. Mindfulness is the quality of being fully engaged in the present moment, without analyzing or otherwise “over-thinking” the experience. Rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, mindfulness meditation switches the focus to what’s happening right now.
The goal of mindfulness meditation is to develop a nonjudgmental, moment-to-moment awareness of what you’re experiencing: random thoughts, your passing emotions, the sensations of your body, sensory input from your surroundings. However, mindfulness meditation is not equal to zoning out. It involves a challenging balancing act between boredom and distraction. It takes effort to maintain your concentration and to bring it back to the present moment when your mind wanders or you start to drift off. But the very act of redirecting your attention is where the learning and growth occur.
With practice, mindfulness meditation teaches you to become acutely aware of your fluctuating emotions without reacting to them or letting negativity take over. For stress relief, try the following mindfulness techniques:
*Body scan – Body scanning cultivates mindfulness by focusing your attention on various parts of your body. Like progressive muscle relaxation, you start with your feet and work your way up. However, instead of tensing and relaxing your muscles, you simply focus on the way each part of your body feels without labeling the sensations as either “good” or “bad”.
*Walking meditation - You don’t have to be seated or still to meditate. In walking meditation, mindfulness involves being focused on the physicality of each step — the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath while moving, and feeling the wind against your face.
*Mindful eating – If you reach for food when you’re under stress or gulp your meals down in a rush, try eating mindfully. Sit down at the table and focus your full attention on the meal (no TV, newspapers, or eating on the run). Eat slowly, taking the time to fully enjoy and concentrate on each bite.
Guided imagery
A variation of traditional meditation involves guided imagery or visualization. When used as a relaxation technique, guided imagery involves imagining a scene in which you feel at peace, free to let go of all tension and anxiety. Choose whatever setting is most calming to you, whether a tropical beach, a favorite childhood spot, or a quiet wooded glen. You can do this visualization exercise on your own, with a therapist’s help, or using an audio recording.
Close your eyes and let your worries drift away. Imagine your restful place. Picture all the details as vividly as you can—everything you can see, hear, smell, and feel. If your chosen spot is a dock on a quiet lake, visualize what it looks like as the sun sets over the water, the smell of the pine trees, the sound of the geese flying overhead, the taste of the clear country air, and the feel of the cool water on your bare feet.
Repetitive prayer
Monks are often the first thing that come to mind when we think of meditation, but any repetitive prayer—saying the rosary, repeating the Lord’s prayer, chanting a mantra—can clear the mind and elicit the relaxation response. Furthermore, you’ll be more motivated to maintain a meditation practice if you focus on a word or phrase that is deeply meaningful to you. If you’re religious, choose something rooted in that tradition (such as peace, om, The Lord is my shepherd, or shalom).
Exercise for stress relief
If you’re trying to reduce or relieve stress in your life, incorporate exercise into your routine. You can start with as little as 15 minutes, three times a week. But for optimal stress relief, try to build up to 30 minutes on most days.
Exercise relieves stress in several ways:
*It allows the body to release tension and pent-up frustration.
*It raises the output of endorphins, “feel-good” brain chemicals that ward off depression.
*It decreases the output of stress hormones.
*It helps you get better sleep.
*It relaxes muscles and lowers your resting pulse rate.
*It makes you feel better about yourself.
Ask your health care provider to recommend an exercise program that fits your needs, especially if you’re over 35. If you have heart problems, high blood pressure, or problems with your bones or joints, you should also seek advice from a doctor.
Any form of physical activity will help you burn off stress. However, certain activities not only relieve muscle tension but also activate the relaxation response. Such activities include yoga, tai chi, Qi gong, and repetitive exercises (e.g. walking, jogging, rowing, biking, swimming).
Yoga
There are many forms of yoga, but most Westerners practice hatha yoga, which focuses on the physical aspects of the discipline. Hatha yoga teaches you a series of stationary and moving poses called asanas and a form of breath control known as pranayama. Yoga trains you to build up a natural response to stress and bring the relaxed state more into your daily life.
Health benefits of yoga:
*Relaxes the mind and body
*Relieves muscle tension
Sharpens concentration
*Increases body awareness
*Improves flexibility and joint mobility
*Strengthens and tones muscles
It’s healthy to challenge yourself in assuming yoga positions, but don’t extend yourself beyond what feels comfortable, and always back off of a pose at the first sign of pain. Since injuries can happen when yoga is practiced incorrectly, it’s best to learn by attending group classes at a yoga studio or hiring a private teacher.
Tai chi
Tai chi is a self-paced, non-competitive series of slow, flowing body movements that emphasize concentration, relaxation, and the conscious circulation of vital energy throughout the body. Though tai chi was first developed as a martial art during the 13th century, today it is primarily practiced as a way of calming the mind, conditioning the body, and reducing stress. As in meditation, tai chi practitioners focus on their breathing and keeping their attention in the present moment.
Tai chi is a safe, low-impact option for people of all ages and levels of fitness, including older adults and those recovering from injuries. Once you’ve learned the moves, you can practice it anywhere, at any time, by yourself, or with others.
Health benefits of tai chi:
*Reduces stress
*Boosts energy
*Enhances well-being
*Strengthens and tones muscles
*Increases balance and coordination
*Improves flexibility
Massage therapy for stress relief
A massage provides deep relaxation, and as the muscles in your body relax, so does your overstressed mind. According to the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), the most common type of massage is Swedish massage, a soothing technique specifically designed to relax and energize. Another common type of massage is Shiatsu, also known as acupressure. In Shiatsu massage, therapists use their fingers to manipulate the body’s pressure points.
However, you don’t have to visit the spa to enjoy the benefits of massage. There are many simple self-massage techniques you can use to relax and release stress.
Self-Massage Techniques
Source: Northwestern Health Sciences University
Scalp Soother
Place your thumbs behind your ears while spreading your fingers on top of your head. Move your scalp back and forth slightly by making circles with your fingertips for 15-20 seconds.
Easy on the Eyes
Close your eyes and place your ring fingers directly under your eyebrows, near the bridge of your nose. Slowly increase the pressure for 5-10 seconds, then gently release. Repeat 2-3 times.
Sinus Pressure Relief
Place your fingertips at the bridge of your nose. Slowly slide your fingers down your nose and across the top of your cheekbones to the outside of your eyes.
Shoulder Tension Relief
Reach one arm across the front of your body to your opposite shoulder. Using a circular motion, press firmly on the muscle above your shoulder blade. Repeat on the other side.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm
The body’s natural relaxation response is a powerful antidote to stress. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and yoga can help you activate this relaxation response. When practiced regularly, these activities lead to a reduction in your everyday stress levels. What’s more, they also serve a protective quality by teaching you how to stay calm and collected in the face of life’s curveballs.
The relaxation response
Whenever we encounter a stressful event, our bodies undergo a series of involuntary hormonal and biochemical changes. This automatic stress response, also called the fight-or-flight reaction, puts our bodies in alarm mode: heart rate speeds up, breath becomes shallow, muscles tense, and our digestive and immune systems temporarily shut down. The stress response is helpful in true emergency situations, but when it’s activated on a frequent basis it puts strain on both mind and body.
No one can avoid all stress, but you can counteract it by learning how to evoke the relaxation response, a state of deep rest that is the polar opposite of the stress response. The relaxation response brings your system back into balance, reducing stress hormones, slowing down your muscles and organs, and increasing blood flow to the brain.
When the relaxation response is activated:
*Your heart rate decreases
*Breathing becomes slower and deeper
*Blood pressure drops or stabilizes
*Your muscles relax
"Repeated activation of the relaxation response can reverse sustained problems in the body and mend the internal wear and tear brought on by stress."
Dr. Herbert Benson, Timeless Healing
In addition to its calming physical effects, research has shown that the relaxation response also increases energy and focus, combats illness, relieves aches and pains, heightens problem-solving abilities, and boosts motivation and productivity. Best of all, anyone can reap these benefits.
The relaxation response is not:
*laying on the couch
*sleeping
*being lazy
The relaxation response is:
*a mentally active process that leaves the body relaxed
*best done in an awake state
*trainable and becomes more profound with practice
Relaxation techniques for stress relief
Many relaxation techniques can help you achieve the relaxation response. Those whose stress-busting benefits have been widely studied include deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, visualization, yoga, and tai chi.
Learning the basics of these relaxation techniques isn’t difficult. But it takes practice to truly harness their stress-relieving power: daily practice, in fact. Most stress experts recommend setting aside at least 10 to 20 minutes a day for your relaxation practice. If you’d like to get even more stress relief, aim for 30 minutes to an hour.
Keep in mind that there is no single relaxation technique that is best. Many techniques are effective, but only when practiced regularly: so choose a relaxation technique or combination of techniques that resonates with you and fits your lifestyle.
Starting a daily stress relief practice
The best way to start and maintain a daily stress relief practice is by incorporating it into your daily routine. Schedule a set time either once or twice a day for your relaxation practice. You may find that it’s easier to stick with your practice if you do it first thing in the morning, before other tasks and responsibilities get in the way.
All you need to start a relaxation practice are:
*A quiet environment – Choose a secluded place in your home, office, garden, place of worship, or in the great outdoors where you can relax without distractions or interruptions.
*A comfortable position – Get comfortable, but avoid lying down as this may lead to you falling asleep. Sit up with your spine straight, either in a chair or on the floor. You can also try a cross-legged or lotus position.
*A point of focus – Pick a meaningful word or phrase and repeat it throughout your session. You may also to focus on an object in your surroundings to enhance your concentration, or alternately, you can close your eyes.
*A passive attitude – Don’t worry about distracting thoughts that go through your mind or about how well you’re doing. If thoughts intrude during your relaxation session, don’t fight them. Instead, gently turn your attention back to your point of focus.
You can either stick to this straightforward relaxation exercise, or branch out into other relaxation techniques. Keep in mind that traditional relaxation techniques aren’t the only effective stress reducers. Spending time in nature, talking to a friend, listening to music, curling up with a good book, writing in a journal—anything that you find calming can relieve stress.
Deep breathing for stress relief
If you’d like to explore relaxation techniques, deep breathing is a good place to start, since it is used in many relaxation practices including yoga, meditation, and visualization. Deep breathing involves not only the lungs but also the abdomen, or diaphragm.
Most of us don’t breathe from the diaphragm. Instead, we take shallow breaths from our upper chests. When we’re stressed, our breath becomes even shallower. The problem is that shallow breathing limits the amount of oxygen we take in—which makes us feel even more tense, short of breath, and anxious. Deep breathing, on the other hand, encourages full oxygen exchange throughout the chest and lungs.
Chest Breathing vs. Abdominal Breathing
When you breathe from your chest, you inhale about a teacup of oxygen. Instead, you should breathe from your abdomen. When you breathe from your abdomen, you inhale about a quart of oxygen. The more oxygen you inhale, the better.
How you breathe also affects your nervous system. Chest breathing makes your brain create shorter, more restless brain waves. Abdominal breathing makes your brain create longer, slower brain waves. These longer and slower brain waves are similar to the ones your brain makes when you are relaxed and calm. So, breathing from the abdomen helps you relax quickly.
Source: University of Pittsburgh Medical Center
With its focus on full, cleansing breaths powered by the diaphragm, deep breathing can help you get your stress levels in check. The next time you feel uptight, try taking a minute to slow down and breathe deeply:
*Sit comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
*Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
*Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
*Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.
If you have a hard time breathing from your abdomen sitting up, lie on the floor, put a small book on your stomach, and try to breathe so that the book rises as you inhale and falls as you exhale. Breathing techniques can be practiced almost anywhere and can be combined with other relaxation exercises, such as aromatherapy and music. All you really need is a few minutes and a place to stretch out.
Progressive muscle relaxation for stress relief
Progressive muscle relaxation is another effective and widely used strategy for relieving stress. It involves a two-step process in which you systematically tense and relax different muscle groups in the body.
With regular practice, progressive muscle relaxation gives you an intimate familiarity with what tension—as well as complete relaxation—feels like in different parts of the body. This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. And as your body relaxes, so will your mind. You can combine deep breathing with progressive muscle relaxation for an additional level of relief from stress.
Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see below:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Sequence
*Right foot
*Left foot
*Right calf
*Left calf
*Right thigh
*Left thigh
*Hips and buttocks
*Stomach
*Chest
*Back
*Right arm and hand
*Left arm and hand
*Neck and shoulders
*Face
*Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.
*Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.
*When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.
*Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
*Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
*Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
*When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
*Move slowly up through your body — legs, abdomen, back, neck, face — contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.
Meditation for stress relief
Meditation has a long history in religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism. And while it is still widely used as a spiritual practice, it is also a powerful stress reliever. Meditation focuses the mind’s energy on a word, a sound, a symbol, a comforting image, or your own breathing. The goal is to produce a deep state of relaxation and tranquility while simultaneously enhancing mental focus. There are many types of meditation—both secular and sacred—so regardless of religious affiliation or beliefs, you can harness its stress-busting benefits.
Mindfulness meditation
Meditation that cultivates mindfulness is particularly effective at reducing stress, as well as anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions. Mindfulness is the quality of being fully engaged in the present moment, without analyzing or otherwise “over-thinking” the experience. Rather than worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, mindfulness meditation switches the focus to what’s happening right now.
The goal of mindfulness meditation is to develop a nonjudgmental, moment-to-moment awareness of what you’re experiencing: random thoughts, your passing emotions, the sensations of your body, sensory input from your surroundings. However, mindfulness meditation is not equal to zoning out. It involves a challenging balancing act between boredom and distraction. It takes effort to maintain your concentration and to bring it back to the present moment when your mind wanders or you start to drift off. But the very act of redirecting your attention is where the learning and growth occur.
With practice, mindfulness meditation teaches you to become acutely aware of your fluctuating emotions without reacting to them or letting negativity take over. For stress relief, try the following mindfulness techniques:
*Body scan – Body scanning cultivates mindfulness by focusing your attention on various parts of your body. Like progressive muscle relaxation, you start with your feet and work your way up. However, instead of tensing and relaxing your muscles, you simply focus on the way each part of your body feels without labeling the sensations as either “good” or “bad”.
*Walking meditation - You don’t have to be seated or still to meditate. In walking meditation, mindfulness involves being focused on the physicality of each step — the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath while moving, and feeling the wind against your face.
*Mindful eating – If you reach for food when you’re under stress or gulp your meals down in a rush, try eating mindfully. Sit down at the table and focus your full attention on the meal (no TV, newspapers, or eating on the run). Eat slowly, taking the time to fully enjoy and concentrate on each bite.
Guided imagery
A variation of traditional meditation involves guided imagery or visualization. When used as a relaxation technique, guided imagery involves imagining a scene in which you feel at peace, free to let go of all tension and anxiety. Choose whatever setting is most calming to you, whether a tropical beach, a favorite childhood spot, or a quiet wooded glen. You can do this visualization exercise on your own, with a therapist’s help, or using an audio recording.
Close your eyes and let your worries drift away. Imagine your restful place. Picture all the details as vividly as you can—everything you can see, hear, smell, and feel. If your chosen spot is a dock on a quiet lake, visualize what it looks like as the sun sets over the water, the smell of the pine trees, the sound of the geese flying overhead, the taste of the clear country air, and the feel of the cool water on your bare feet.
Repetitive prayer
Monks are often the first thing that come to mind when we think of meditation, but any repetitive prayer—saying the rosary, repeating the Lord’s prayer, chanting a mantra—can clear the mind and elicit the relaxation response. Furthermore, you’ll be more motivated to maintain a meditation practice if you focus on a word or phrase that is deeply meaningful to you. If you’re religious, choose something rooted in that tradition (such as peace, om, The Lord is my shepherd, or shalom).
Exercise for stress relief
If you’re trying to reduce or relieve stress in your life, incorporate exercise into your routine. You can start with as little as 15 minutes, three times a week. But for optimal stress relief, try to build up to 30 minutes on most days.
Exercise relieves stress in several ways:
*It allows the body to release tension and pent-up frustration.
*It raises the output of endorphins, “feel-good” brain chemicals that ward off depression.
*It decreases the output of stress hormones.
*It helps you get better sleep.
*It relaxes muscles and lowers your resting pulse rate.
*It makes you feel better about yourself.
Ask your health care provider to recommend an exercise program that fits your needs, especially if you’re over 35. If you have heart problems, high blood pressure, or problems with your bones or joints, you should also seek advice from a doctor.
Any form of physical activity will help you burn off stress. However, certain activities not only relieve muscle tension but also activate the relaxation response. Such activities include yoga, tai chi, Qi gong, and repetitive exercises (e.g. walking, jogging, rowing, biking, swimming).
Yoga
There are many forms of yoga, but most Westerners practice hatha yoga, which focuses on the physical aspects of the discipline. Hatha yoga teaches you a series of stationary and moving poses called asanas and a form of breath control known as pranayama. Yoga trains you to build up a natural response to stress and bring the relaxed state more into your daily life.
Health benefits of yoga:
*Relaxes the mind and body
*Relieves muscle tension
Sharpens concentration
*Increases body awareness
*Improves flexibility and joint mobility
*Strengthens and tones muscles
It’s healthy to challenge yourself in assuming yoga positions, but don’t extend yourself beyond what feels comfortable, and always back off of a pose at the first sign of pain. Since injuries can happen when yoga is practiced incorrectly, it’s best to learn by attending group classes at a yoga studio or hiring a private teacher.
Tai chi
Tai chi is a self-paced, non-competitive series of slow, flowing body movements that emphasize concentration, relaxation, and the conscious circulation of vital energy throughout the body. Though tai chi was first developed as a martial art during the 13th century, today it is primarily practiced as a way of calming the mind, conditioning the body, and reducing stress. As in meditation, tai chi practitioners focus on their breathing and keeping their attention in the present moment.
Tai chi is a safe, low-impact option for people of all ages and levels of fitness, including older adults and those recovering from injuries. Once you’ve learned the moves, you can practice it anywhere, at any time, by yourself, or with others.
Health benefits of tai chi:
*Reduces stress
*Boosts energy
*Enhances well-being
*Strengthens and tones muscles
*Increases balance and coordination
*Improves flexibility
Massage therapy for stress relief
A massage provides deep relaxation, and as the muscles in your body relax, so does your overstressed mind. According to the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA), the most common type of massage is Swedish massage, a soothing technique specifically designed to relax and energize. Another common type of massage is Shiatsu, also known as acupressure. In Shiatsu massage, therapists use their fingers to manipulate the body’s pressure points.
However, you don’t have to visit the spa to enjoy the benefits of massage. There are many simple self-massage techniques you can use to relax and release stress.
Self-Massage Techniques
Source: Northwestern Health Sciences University
Scalp Soother
Place your thumbs behind your ears while spreading your fingers on top of your head. Move your scalp back and forth slightly by making circles with your fingertips for 15-20 seconds.
Easy on the Eyes
Close your eyes and place your ring fingers directly under your eyebrows, near the bridge of your nose. Slowly increase the pressure for 5-10 seconds, then gently release. Repeat 2-3 times.
Sinus Pressure Relief
Place your fingertips at the bridge of your nose. Slowly slide your fingers down your nose and across the top of your cheekbones to the outside of your eyes.
Shoulder Tension Relief
Reach one arm across the front of your body to your opposite shoulder. Using a circular motion, press firmly on the muscle above your shoulder blade. Repeat on the other side.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_relief_meditation_yoga_relaxation.htm
Friday, April 4, 2008
Job Stress Management:
Stress Causes & Effects; Tips for Workplace Stress Reduction
Workplace stress has a negative impact on the business as well as on the individual employee. The increase in job stress creates emotional, financial, and safety concerns for employers and managers. The bottom line: workplace stress management and stress reduction make sense.
Stress in the workplace is not a new phenomenon, but it is a greater threat to employee health and well-being than ever before. While technology has made aspects of many jobs easier, it has also added to the anxieties of office life through information overload, heightened pressure for productivity, and a threatening sense of impermanence in the workplace. In 1996, the World Health Organization labeled stress a “worldwide epidemic.” Today, workplace stress is estimated to cost American companies more than $300 billion a year in poor performance, absenteeism and health costs.
What is workplace stress?
Stress—the responses our bodies and minds have to the demands placed on them—is a normal part of life and a normal part of any job. Without stress, we wouldn’t meet deadlines, strive to hit sales or production targets, or line up new clients. Meeting the demands and challenges of a job is part of what makes work interesting and satisfying, and it’s often what allows people to develop new skills and advance in their careers. In the workplace, we regularly experience stress-causing situations, react to them with heightened tension, then return to a more relaxed state when the crisis, big or small, is resolved. However, problems occur when stress is so overwhelming or constant that the tension never abates and we never get to relax.
What we think of as “job stress” is what happens when:
*The challenges and demands of work become excessive.
*The pressures of the workplace surpass workers’ abilities to handle them.
*Satisfaction becomes frustration and exhaustion.
When stress crosses the line from normal to excessive, it can trigger physical and emotional responses that are harmful to employees and businesses alike. And unfortunately, for many people “stress” has become synonymous with “work.”
What causes stress in the workplace?
Some jobs are stressful by definition because they’re physically dangerous (such as firefighting or criminal justice), involve matters of life and death (emergency functions), or are psychologically demanding (social work, teaching). But people who stamp metal or crunch numbers can also be subject to stress on the job.
Workplace stress is usually the result of high demands on the job, real or perceived lack of control concerning those demands, poor day-to-day organization and communication, and an unsupportive work environment.
The following chart lays out many of the factors that lead to job stress:
Factors that Lead to Job Stress
Types of Job Stressors
(*Examples)
Specific work factors
*Excessive workload.
*Tedious or meaningless tasks.
*Long hours and low pay.
*Infrequent rest breaks.
*Unreasonable performance demands.
Physical environment
*Noise and overcrowding.
*Poor air quality.
*Ergonomic problems.
*Health and safety risks (heavy equipment,
toxic chemicals).
Organizational practices
*Unclear responsibilities or expectations.
*Conflicting job demands.
*Multiple supervisors.
*Lack of autonomy or participation in decision- making.
*Inefficient communication patterns.
*Lack of family-friendly policies.
Workplace change
*Fear of layoff.
*Frequent personnel turnover.
*Lack of preparation for technological
changes.
*Poor chances for advancement or promotion.
*Tensions brought about by greater workplace
diversity.
Interpersonal relationships
*Distant, uncommunicative supervisors.
*Poor performance from subordinates.
*Office politics, competition, and other
comflicts among staff.
*Bullying or harassment.
*Problems caused by excessive time away from
family.
What are the health effects of job stress?
There is a clear connection between workplace stress and physical and emotional problems. According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, early warning signs of job stress include:
*Headache
*Sleep disturbance
*Upset stomach
*Difficulty concentrating
*Irritability
*Low morale
*Poor relations with family and friends
While these early signs are relatively easy to recognize, it may be harder to see how job stress affects chronic health problems, since chronic conditions develop over time and may be influenced by factors other than stress. Still, evidence suggests that workplace stress plays an important role in several types of ongoing health problems, especially:
*Cardiovascular disease
*Musculoskeletal conditions
*Psychological disorders
To learn more about the symptoms and impact of stress, see Helpguide's Stress: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Effects.
What can managers or employers do to reduce stress at work? Stress on the job creates high costs for businesses and institutions, reducing morale, productivity, and earnings. Clearly, it is in every employer’s best interests—fiscal and otherwise—to reduce workplace stress as much as possible. Businesses can lower and prevent job stress through two methods:
*Stress management programs and training for employees.
*Organizational changes that improve working conditions.
Stress Management
Nearly half of large American corporations provide their employees with stress management training and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs). EAPs are designed to help workers with personal problems that may be adversely affecting their on-the-job performance. The confidential services include counseling, mental health assessment and referrals, workshops on topics such as time management and relaxation, and legal and financial assistance.
Read The EAP Buyer's Guide for advice on selecting the right EAP for your business, and browse the EAP Directory of national and international credentialed EAP providers.
Organizational change
While EAPs can be very beneficial to workers, the relief they provide may be superficial and short-lived if important root causes of stress in the work environment are not addressed. Lasting stress reduction is brought about by institutional change. “Managers are the key holders of corporate culture,” Michael Peterson, a professor at University of Delaware, told FDU magazine. “They perpetuate it.” While stress management techniques like yoga are great, he said, “if your boss is draconian, exercise is not going to help.”
No meaningful job or workplace is, or should be expected to be, stress-free. However, less stress occurs when a business or institution encourages employee participation from the bottom up, implements policies that take employee needs into account, and empowers employees to do their best.
Look at the table below for a list of ways in which an organization can foster low levels of job stress and high levels of productivity:
Changing the Organization to Reduce Job Stress
Improve communication
*Share information with employees to reduce uncertainty about their jobs and
futures.
*Clearly define employees’ roles and responsibilities.
*Make communication friendly and efficient, not mean-spirited or petty.
Consult your employees
*Give workers opportunities to participate in decisions that affect their jobs.
*Consult employees about scheduling and work rules.
*Be sure the workload is suitable to employees’ abilities and resources; avoid
unrealistic deadlines.
*Show that individual workers are valued.
Offer rewards and incentives
*Praise good work performance verbally and institutionally.
*Provide opportunities for career development.
*Promote an “entrepreneurial” work climate that gives employees more control over
their work.
Cultivate a friendly social climate
*Provide opportunities for social interaction among employees.
*Establish a zero-tolerance policy for harassment.
*Make management actions consistent with organizational values.
What can employees do to reduce job stress?
While organizational change comes from management, there are still many things employees—individually or collectively—can do to reduce workplace stress.
Stand Up for Yourself
* Get a job description. If your employer hasn’t provided a specific, written description of your job, ask for one, or, better, ask to negotiate one. According to the American Psychological Association, the act of negotiating a job description “does more to dispel a sense of powerlessness than anything else we know. You can object to what and insist on what you do want. If there is a compromise, it's because you agreed to it. With a clear job description, your expectations are spelled out, as are your boss’s.”
* Change your job. If you like where you’re working but your job is too stressful, ask if the company can tailor the job to your skills or move you to a less pressured slot.
*Get support. Use the local, state, and federal agencies created to support workers’ interests — and your union, if you belong to one — to back you up in situations that expose you to unnecessary danger, unsafe or unhealthful conditions, or undue harassment. While some locations and agencies are more sympathetic to employees’ rights than others, sometimes simply mentioning that you know where to turn for help is enough to start an employer thinking about improvement.
*Get a new job. If the level of stress at your job is harming your health and your relationships, and you don’t see any prospect of real change, it may be time to move on.
Eliminate Self-Defeating Behaviors
Many of us make job stress worse with patterns of thought or behavior that keep us from relieving pressure on ourselves. If you can turn around these self-defeating habits, you’ll find employer-imposed stress easier to handle.
*Resist perfectionism. No project, situation, or decision is ever perfect, and you put undue stress on yourself by trying to do everything perfectly. When you set unrealistic goals for yourself or try to do too much, you’re setting yourself up to fall short. Do your best, and you’ll do fine.
*Clean up your act. If you’re always running late, set your clocks and watches fast and give yourself extra time. If your desk is a mess, file and throw away the clutter; just knowing where everything is saves time and cuts stress. Make to-do lists and cross off items as you accomplish them. Plan your day and stick to the schedule — you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
*Flip your negative thinking. If you see the downside of every situation and interaction, you’ll find yourself drained of energy and motivation. Try to think positively about your work, avoid negative-thinking co-workers, and pat yourself on the back about small accomplishments, even if no one else does.
Find Ways to Dispel Stress
Quintessential Careers offers these tips for reducing stress:
*Get time away. If you feel stress building, take a break. Walk away from the situation. Take a stroll around the block, sit on a park bench, or spend a few minutes meditating. Exercise does wonders for the psyche. But even just finding a quiet place and listening to your iPod can reduce stress.
*Talk it out. Sometimes the best stress-reducer is simply sharing your stress with someone close to you. The act of talking it out – and getting support and empathy from someone else – is often an excellent way of blowing off steam and reducing stress.
*Cultivate allies at work. Just knowing you have one or more co-workers who are willing to assist you in times of stress will reduce your stress level. Just remember to reciprocate and help them when they are in need.
*Find humor in the situation. When you – or the people around you – start taking things too seriously, find a way to break through with laughter. Share a joke or funny story.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/work_stress_management.htm
Workplace stress has a negative impact on the business as well as on the individual employee. The increase in job stress creates emotional, financial, and safety concerns for employers and managers. The bottom line: workplace stress management and stress reduction make sense.
Stress in the workplace is not a new phenomenon, but it is a greater threat to employee health and well-being than ever before. While technology has made aspects of many jobs easier, it has also added to the anxieties of office life through information overload, heightened pressure for productivity, and a threatening sense of impermanence in the workplace. In 1996, the World Health Organization labeled stress a “worldwide epidemic.” Today, workplace stress is estimated to cost American companies more than $300 billion a year in poor performance, absenteeism and health costs.
What is workplace stress?
Stress—the responses our bodies and minds have to the demands placed on them—is a normal part of life and a normal part of any job. Without stress, we wouldn’t meet deadlines, strive to hit sales or production targets, or line up new clients. Meeting the demands and challenges of a job is part of what makes work interesting and satisfying, and it’s often what allows people to develop new skills and advance in their careers. In the workplace, we regularly experience stress-causing situations, react to them with heightened tension, then return to a more relaxed state when the crisis, big or small, is resolved. However, problems occur when stress is so overwhelming or constant that the tension never abates and we never get to relax.
What we think of as “job stress” is what happens when:
*The challenges and demands of work become excessive.
*The pressures of the workplace surpass workers’ abilities to handle them.
*Satisfaction becomes frustration and exhaustion.
When stress crosses the line from normal to excessive, it can trigger physical and emotional responses that are harmful to employees and businesses alike. And unfortunately, for many people “stress” has become synonymous with “work.”
What causes stress in the workplace?
Some jobs are stressful by definition because they’re physically dangerous (such as firefighting or criminal justice), involve matters of life and death (emergency functions), or are psychologically demanding (social work, teaching). But people who stamp metal or crunch numbers can also be subject to stress on the job.
Workplace stress is usually the result of high demands on the job, real or perceived lack of control concerning those demands, poor day-to-day organization and communication, and an unsupportive work environment.
The following chart lays out many of the factors that lead to job stress:
Factors that Lead to Job Stress
Types of Job Stressors
(*Examples)
Specific work factors
*Excessive workload.
*Tedious or meaningless tasks.
*Long hours and low pay.
*Infrequent rest breaks.
*Unreasonable performance demands.
Physical environment
*Noise and overcrowding.
*Poor air quality.
*Ergonomic problems.
*Health and safety risks (heavy equipment,
toxic chemicals).
Organizational practices
*Unclear responsibilities or expectations.
*Conflicting job demands.
*Multiple supervisors.
*Lack of autonomy or participation in decision- making.
*Inefficient communication patterns.
*Lack of family-friendly policies.
Workplace change
*Fear of layoff.
*Frequent personnel turnover.
*Lack of preparation for technological
changes.
*Poor chances for advancement or promotion.
*Tensions brought about by greater workplace
diversity.
Interpersonal relationships
*Distant, uncommunicative supervisors.
*Poor performance from subordinates.
*Office politics, competition, and other
comflicts among staff.
*Bullying or harassment.
*Problems caused by excessive time away from
family.
What are the health effects of job stress?
There is a clear connection between workplace stress and physical and emotional problems. According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, early warning signs of job stress include:
*Headache
*Sleep disturbance
*Upset stomach
*Difficulty concentrating
*Irritability
*Low morale
*Poor relations with family and friends
While these early signs are relatively easy to recognize, it may be harder to see how job stress affects chronic health problems, since chronic conditions develop over time and may be influenced by factors other than stress. Still, evidence suggests that workplace stress plays an important role in several types of ongoing health problems, especially:
*Cardiovascular disease
*Musculoskeletal conditions
*Psychological disorders
To learn more about the symptoms and impact of stress, see Helpguide's Stress: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Effects.
What can managers or employers do to reduce stress at work? Stress on the job creates high costs for businesses and institutions, reducing morale, productivity, and earnings. Clearly, it is in every employer’s best interests—fiscal and otherwise—to reduce workplace stress as much as possible. Businesses can lower and prevent job stress through two methods:
*Stress management programs and training for employees.
*Organizational changes that improve working conditions.
Stress Management
Nearly half of large American corporations provide their employees with stress management training and Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs). EAPs are designed to help workers with personal problems that may be adversely affecting their on-the-job performance. The confidential services include counseling, mental health assessment and referrals, workshops on topics such as time management and relaxation, and legal and financial assistance.
Read The EAP Buyer's Guide for advice on selecting the right EAP for your business, and browse the EAP Directory of national and international credentialed EAP providers.
Organizational change
While EAPs can be very beneficial to workers, the relief they provide may be superficial and short-lived if important root causes of stress in the work environment are not addressed. Lasting stress reduction is brought about by institutional change. “Managers are the key holders of corporate culture,” Michael Peterson, a professor at University of Delaware, told FDU magazine. “They perpetuate it.” While stress management techniques like yoga are great, he said, “if your boss is draconian, exercise is not going to help.”
No meaningful job or workplace is, or should be expected to be, stress-free. However, less stress occurs when a business or institution encourages employee participation from the bottom up, implements policies that take employee needs into account, and empowers employees to do their best.
Look at the table below for a list of ways in which an organization can foster low levels of job stress and high levels of productivity:
Changing the Organization to Reduce Job Stress
Improve communication
*Share information with employees to reduce uncertainty about their jobs and
futures.
*Clearly define employees’ roles and responsibilities.
*Make communication friendly and efficient, not mean-spirited or petty.
Consult your employees
*Give workers opportunities to participate in decisions that affect their jobs.
*Consult employees about scheduling and work rules.
*Be sure the workload is suitable to employees’ abilities and resources; avoid
unrealistic deadlines.
*Show that individual workers are valued.
Offer rewards and incentives
*Praise good work performance verbally and institutionally.
*Provide opportunities for career development.
*Promote an “entrepreneurial” work climate that gives employees more control over
their work.
Cultivate a friendly social climate
*Provide opportunities for social interaction among employees.
*Establish a zero-tolerance policy for harassment.
*Make management actions consistent with organizational values.
What can employees do to reduce job stress?
While organizational change comes from management, there are still many things employees—individually or collectively—can do to reduce workplace stress.
Stand Up for Yourself
* Get a job description. If your employer hasn’t provided a specific, written description of your job, ask for one, or, better, ask to negotiate one. According to the American Psychological Association, the act of negotiating a job description “does more to dispel a sense of powerlessness than anything else we know. You can object to what and insist on what you do want. If there is a compromise, it's because you agreed to it. With a clear job description, your expectations are spelled out, as are your boss’s.”
* Change your job. If you like where you’re working but your job is too stressful, ask if the company can tailor the job to your skills or move you to a less pressured slot.
*Get support. Use the local, state, and federal agencies created to support workers’ interests — and your union, if you belong to one — to back you up in situations that expose you to unnecessary danger, unsafe or unhealthful conditions, or undue harassment. While some locations and agencies are more sympathetic to employees’ rights than others, sometimes simply mentioning that you know where to turn for help is enough to start an employer thinking about improvement.
*Get a new job. If the level of stress at your job is harming your health and your relationships, and you don’t see any prospect of real change, it may be time to move on.
Eliminate Self-Defeating Behaviors
Many of us make job stress worse with patterns of thought or behavior that keep us from relieving pressure on ourselves. If you can turn around these self-defeating habits, you’ll find employer-imposed stress easier to handle.
*Resist perfectionism. No project, situation, or decision is ever perfect, and you put undue stress on yourself by trying to do everything perfectly. When you set unrealistic goals for yourself or try to do too much, you’re setting yourself up to fall short. Do your best, and you’ll do fine.
*Clean up your act. If you’re always running late, set your clocks and watches fast and give yourself extra time. If your desk is a mess, file and throw away the clutter; just knowing where everything is saves time and cuts stress. Make to-do lists and cross off items as you accomplish them. Plan your day and stick to the schedule — you’ll feel less overwhelmed.
*Flip your negative thinking. If you see the downside of every situation and interaction, you’ll find yourself drained of energy and motivation. Try to think positively about your work, avoid negative-thinking co-workers, and pat yourself on the back about small accomplishments, even if no one else does.
Find Ways to Dispel Stress
Quintessential Careers offers these tips for reducing stress:
*Get time away. If you feel stress building, take a break. Walk away from the situation. Take a stroll around the block, sit on a park bench, or spend a few minutes meditating. Exercise does wonders for the psyche. But even just finding a quiet place and listening to your iPod can reduce stress.
*Talk it out. Sometimes the best stress-reducer is simply sharing your stress with someone close to you. The act of talking it out – and getting support and empathy from someone else – is often an excellent way of blowing off steam and reducing stress.
*Cultivate allies at work. Just knowing you have one or more co-workers who are willing to assist you in times of stress will reduce your stress level. Just remember to reciprocate and help them when they are in need.
*Find humor in the situation. When you – or the people around you – start taking things too seriously, find a way to break through with laughter. Share a joke or funny story.
Sourced by: TheSAMIGroup.com
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/work_stress_management.htm
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